Today I looked at my budget and realised I won’t be able to afford the forearm tattoo cover up that I had planned on getting, to celebrate my freedom from self harm (today I am 480 days free!), and to reclaim my body.
And I got really disappointed. This was something I had been working towards, and looking forward to, excited about! And now it wasn’t going to happen.
The reason it won’t be happening is unexpected bills and expenses.
I did consider, and obviously the title and subject of this post, starting a fund raising campaign for the tattoo cost.
And I have contacted the GoFundMe people, and they said absolutely my ’cause’ could be supported.
But. I’ve never been a person who likes taking money from other people. I currently owe a few people money, personal loans from close people who voluntarily loaned me the money, and I feel like if I were to start a fundraising campaign it would be a kind of, slap in the face?, to those people that I owe money to.
The whole thing is confusing and upsetting.
Happy birthday to you. I never forget your birthday. Happy 30th birthday. I’m sad I couldn’t share in it with you.