Not even semi functioning

I’m stuck. I can’t leave the house. The pets are driving me crazy. I don’t create anything. I don’t have any art being made. I can’t function. I can’t function at all. My brain is messy. The last few weeks are all a blur. I keep thinking it’s still the 11th July. I can’t focus. My relationships are disintegrating and falling apart. Everything is a blur. And I can’t stop moving. I can’t stay still. I have to keep busy. I’ve got the washing machine going, the dryer going, the Netflix on, I’m not creating anything or making any art, I’m just pulling apart magazines and being driven crazy by my head.

How do people sleep who don’t have insomnia? And how do people sleep, at all? If I don’t have my meds, the only way to get to sleep is being really really drunk. And that’s not helpful.

How do people live normal-ish lives? How do people wake up everyday and go ‘hey it’s okay that I’m alive’? How do people wake up and not hate that they have woken up? How?

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