PTSD

Originally Written: 2nd August ’13

I’m tired of bad nights & bad sleep
I’m tired of fighting to stay awake but
fighting to sleep at the same time.

I’m tired of sleeping with my hand
clenched under my pillow
holding a makeshift weapon
Large painter’s rubber mallet
Wood back scratcher
Umbrella
Torch.

Keeping one eye on the door
and one eye on the window
Just waiting for the intruder.

Leaping out of bed
to check the door is locked
five, six, seven times.

I’m tired of being paranoid
I’m tired of being afraid
I’m tired of never letting my guard down.

To sleep, to dream
I’m tired of the nightmares never ending
polluting even my waking world with their poison.

I’m tired
of being tired.

 

hummingbirdedited

 

 

 

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